It has been, let’s say, a while since I graduated high school and college. There are a few items of clothing that I felt I needed to hang on to. In particular, I had three pairs of jeans that were my favorites. I finally said goodbye to two of them today.
Since I graduated college, I have worked my professional career for 7 years then moved on to other aspirations. I have had seven pregnancies and four children. Each pregnancy did something different to the shape of my body. After the first couple my body bounced back. Pregnancy three and after, not so much. Hips spread some, feet grew some, belly didn’t bounce back as hoped. Needless to say, I need clothes that fit me now, not that may never fit me and cause anxiety.
I may never be skinny like I was in college but know I am a work in progress. I workout about six days a week and strive to get stronger. My eating isn’t perfect but I try to get a good amount of protein and balanced macro-nutrients. It isn’t always easy, especially since I am a vegetarian and my family is not. There are days I struggle just to want to make and eat actual food. Whole foods based protein shakes are my saving grace. I revise my vision as needed for my own sanity and reality of the day to day. I am not getting any younger!
How long do you hold on to clothing that just don’t fit anymore in anticipation that it eventually will again? I’m not sure it was as much the hope to fit a size 12 again but it was the connection to the memories those clothing items hold. Those are a picture of my past. I have decided that the past was awesome but day by day my story is being written. I don’t need to hold on to what was, I need to look at what is and forward to what will be. If I get to a comfortable size 12 or smaller, I deserve a NEW pair of jeans. Ones that fit my story as it plays out, not some from the past.
Does this sound crazy? How can a simple pair of jeans make a person so sentimental? Goodbye 20+ year old jeans, hello workout pants. I am proud of what my body has done. It carried four beautiful children to full term and beyond. It has carried me through 45 years of ups and downs. I am working hard to live life with my people as well as work on keeping my body going strong for many more years to come.
Every day is a struggle to eat right, exercise, relax, and decide priorities. I will strive to do better with each day God gives me to continue this story. What are you struggling to let go of? Are you striving for something important to you? Have you given up on the old jeans, ready for shiny new ones?